The Heart Asks Pleasure First
by Kurisu
Summary: L/Light. Light finds out yet another talent that L possesses. One-shot ficlet.


Disclaimer: Death Note doesn't belong to me. But you knew that already.

**MAJOR SPOILER**, for those who haven't watched past episode 25.

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Raito never really noticed the grand piano in the corner of the room. Now that he had laid eyes on it, it seemed to be out of place. What was a piano doing in the building, anyway? Had L moved it in to make the room more home-like? It didn't seem to be something that L would particularly need or even want. Raito was pretty sure that a person like him wouldn't even know how to play.

The evening fell into night. Raito tapped the base of the nightstand's lamp, filling the room with light. He looked towards the detective, focused on his laptop's screen. Raito longed to touch the piano. L had all the plans set, so there was not much to do other than look at the same evidence with him. The younger man's fingers tapped on the nightstand to Aura Lee. It was a novice's tune, but it was all Raito could remember. He had only taken a year of piano lessons in high school. He wished that he could have continued. Maybe he would have been an expert pianist, to accompany the vast amount of skills he had.

"Raito-kun, do you want to play the piano?" asked L.

The question caught him by surprise.

"Not really. I was just wondering why it's there. I would think you would have no particular use for a piano."

L's eyes never left the screen. "I'm fond of the piano. I would play if I had the time, and if you weren't handcuffed to me."

Raito turned to L. "You know how to play piano, Ryuuzaki?"

The detective nodded. "I've taken lessons before. I might be a bit rusty. I haven't played in quite some time."

The younger man was quiet. Of course, he thought. L had the slender hands of a piano player. The thought of such an unkempt person playing an elegant instrument was unfathomable. Yet, it should be expected. The detective kept so many secrets that no one really knew what he enjoyed, other than his work. Solving crimes might have been his number one hobby, but he was capable of liking other things. The thought intrigued him.

"I know this sounds weird," began Raito, "but I'd like to hear you play."

Raito didn't know where the request came from, or the reason why. He froze as he was subjected to L's piercing stare. The detective's eyes were wide, confused. L brought his thumb to his mouth, as though he did not know what to make of the request. Raito looked away.

"If you don't want to, Ryuuzaki, that's okay."

"No, it's perfectly all right. I didn't expect it, that's all. I would be happy to play for Raito-kun, but only for a few minutes. There's too much to be done."

L and Raito walked over to the grand piano. L sat on the stool as a normal person would, yet bent slightly over the piano. It took Raito aback, as he was not accustomed to seeing the detective without his signature position. L's toes curled into the burgundy carpet. The younger man could tell that L wanted to bring his knees up, but it would prevent him from playing well.

Raito glided a single finger across the edge of the instrument. He did not remember anything about pianos. But up close, it was a gorgeous piece of work: cherry-red wood, glossy finish, words lined in gold. With the chain of the handcuffs clinking on the foot of the stool, the detective positioned his lithe fingers. There was no sheet music set up for him. Raito was not sure what L would play. Even more so, he was surprised that he knew how to play a piece without the help of sheet music. Was he that talented?

And the sound of the grand piano filled the room.

The piece began solemn and sorrowful. L's fingers moved swiftly across the ivory keys, never once hesitant. Raito began to shiver. The melody rose higher, hopeful and wanting to touch the skies, before lowering again into the darkness. The younger man could feel the song piercing his heart. His eyes turned to the detective. L played the higher notes with fervor. The older man's expression softened, brows furrowed in concentration. He ended slowly, the notes fading with each touch of the key.

L removed his hands from the piano, setting them onto his knees. Raito gasped. He had actually stopped breathing.

"Was that enough, Raito-kun? Or should I play some more?" asked L. He looked at the younger man, puzzled.

"No, that's quite all right, Ryuuzaki..."

"Did I play horribly? It's the last piece I learned before my lessons ended."

Raito laughed. "No, it wasn't horrible at all. It was...beautiful. I didn't expect..."

L smiled. "Didn't expect what? For someone like me to know how to play piano, much less know a piece like that? It's understandable that you feel that way. You're the only one who knows, so I would like it if you kept this between us."

"Are you beginning to trust me? How strange."

"No, I don't trust you at all. You just happened to find out another part of me that I'd prefer to be kept hidden. Though I suppose that the knowledge of me being a pianist would not help you uncover my true name."

The younger man sighed. "I suppose it's normal that you still suspect me. But I have to say, I'm content with knowing about your piano-playing skills."

"If it's contentment that you want, I hope you're satisfied with just that."

A pale, handcuffed hand reached out to touch Raito's hand, resting on top of the grand piano. Coal-black met mahogany, their gazes never leaving each other. The melody resounded in Raito's mind. The memory of the piece was intoxicating in itself. L stood up from the piano stool, taking the younger man's hand in his. Raito attempted to stay calm, but was unnerved by the tender gesture of the detective.

"The heart asks pleasure first," said L, his voice low.

"What?"

"The name of the piece. It's also a poem. 'The heart asks pleasure first. And then, excuse from pain...and then those little anodynes that deaden suffering.' Quite fitting for such a piece."

L's fingers intertwined with Raito's. The cuffs clinked together. The detective began to close the distance, wild eyes boring into the younger man. He recited the rest in a harsh whisper.

"'And then, to go to sleep; and then, if it should be...the will of its Inquisitor, the liberty to die.'"

"Ryuuzaki, what are you doing?"

"I know what will happen next week."

"What do you mean, Ryuuzaki? What's going to happen?" asked Raito, frightened by the susurrations.

The detective brushed his lips against Raito's. His dark eyes fluttered, closing. In shock, Raito pushed L away. The college student childishly wiped his hand on his sleeve, turning away from the older man. Was he insane? Was kissing the suspect a way to uncover that he was Kira? Raito felt sick to his stomach.

"I'm sorry, Raito-kun," said L, nonplussed. "I did not expect—"

"What the hell was _that_?"

"Raito-kun, I—"

"This is too much, Ryuuzaki. First, you suspect me of being Kira, then you call me a friend, then you suspect me some more, and then you kiss me? Was that a test or something, to prove your theory right? That if I do anything else, I'm the murderer?!"

He turned to L. The detective was crouched down on the floor, hands resting on his knees. Raito sat down across from L. He brought his fingers to his lips. The feeling of L's lips on his lingered, too stubborn to disappear. The older man refused to look at his suspect.

"It wasn't a test for you," he replied after several minutes. "I was testing myself. To see what I would have done."

"And let me guess...you failed?" snorted Raito.

He looked up at Raito, his expression calm. "Miserably."

Raito had no idea how to reply to L. He had no idea if the detective was being truthful or not. It could all possibly be some sort of joke, if only L was the type to joke around. No, it definitely didn't sound like L to joke around, especially at such a serious time. They were closing in on the next Kira. Raito found his thoughts circling each other. He was unable to grasp the reason why the older man kissed him out of nowhere.

L said he was testing himself. To see what, exactly? Unless L liked him in a romantic sense. But that was a ridiculous notion. He would never 'fall' for Raito, even if he weren't a suspect. Was it even possible for L to like someone? He could pretend all he wanted, but the real thing? It was probably unattainable, even for someone like him.

He might as well push that thought from his mind.

"I would like to play again," said L. He stood up, moving to the piano stool.

Raito remained where he was. The mellifluous sound of the piece filled his ears. Though he now knew the name, L had claimed this piece for his own in Raito's mind. Never again would it be by itself. The eccentric detective would always accompany it.

Never again would it be alone.

Raito touched his lips again. The thought of reclaiming that kiss again pushed itself back into his mind.

Oh well, he thought. It was probably nothing.

Instead of thinking about the kiss further, he lost himself in L's haunting melody. It would linger for hours, for days, and well into the following week. The piece played in his dreams, and when they worked on the case. It played in the helicopter as he was next to L, the memories of Kira resurfacing. Instead of the bells that L supposedly heard, it was the melody that Raito could hear. And so it continued to resound until it no longer was 'the heart asks pleasure first', but 'the night we both found in each other something hidden'.

The tune soon became dark in Raito's mind. The higher notes had vanished. The sorrowful melody reverberated, attempting to torture the true Kira. But in his joy of seeing the greatest detective fallen before him, he ignored it. It was not worthy of a name anymore.

_...the liberty to die..._

And with that the melody faded, ending with the closing of dark eyes.

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A/N: I should be working on "The Moving of the River", but this ficlet came to me and I simply could not push it aside! I don't usually write sad endings, so this is probably another first for me.

The song L plays is "The Promise", by Michael Nyman. However, I've also seen it titled as "The Heart Asks Pleasure First". If you have a chance, listen to the song. It's quite lovely.

The poem (titled the same) is by Emily Dickinson.

So please review and tell me what you think!


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